Recall Notice

The two Jewish  months called, Elul and Tishrei, appear back-to-back beginning, usually, in July or August of each year. The entire month of Elul, and the first ten days of Tishrei are marked by a call to Teshuva--'return'. It is a time to think about who we are and how we behave. It is a time to return to HaShem.

This period of 40 days ends with the most solemn Jewish Day of the calendar year--Yom Kippur. This year, Yom Kippur will be this Tuesday night -Wednesday, September 18-19, 2018.

On Yom Kippur, we fast. We pray. It is the Day our individual and collective fates are sealed for the year. It is, officially, our big chance to pray for a good, healthy year.

While the month of Elul has ended (we are now in day 8 of Tishrei), Jews still speak of return-repentance-renewal. We still have the essential concept of 'Elul'--the time to 'return'--in our thoughts.

In the spirit of this concept, I must tell you I have received a 'Recall Notice'. It is a serious notice, As with many Recall Notices, this one came after its date of publication--but it has arrived still in time to participate in it.

You may have seen it. It's called, Elul Recall Notice. Here it is (you can find it here):

Urgent Elul Recall Notice

by Daniel Pozner

Regardless of make or year, all units known as "human beings" are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named "Adam" and "Eve", resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect is technically termed, "Serious Internal Non-morality, " but more commonly known as "S-I-N."
Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Lack of peace and joy
[c] Depression
[d] Foul vocal emissions
[e] Selfishness
[f] Ingratitude
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Rebellion
[I] Jealousy

The Manufacturer is providing factory authorized repair service free of charge to correct the SIN defect.
The Repair Technician, Hashem, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. To repeat, there is no fee required.
The number to call in for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload the burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Hashem, into the heart component of the human unit. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Hashem will replace it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Kindness
[e] Goodness
[f] Faithfulness
[g] Gentleness
[h] Patience
[I] Self-control

Please see the operating manual, TORAH, for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, Hashem. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence on the premises.
WARNING: Continuing to operate a human being unit without corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposes the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately result in the human unit being incinerated.
Thank you for your immediate attention.
Please assist by notifying others of this important recall notice.
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Have an easy Fast.